"Where did you come from and how did you escape?"

Another writing exercise. I watched this sunset alone while staying in a hotel in Spokane the other day. The sky took my breath away, it seemed so vibrant and alive. I appreciate the moments of beauty that help me remember.
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I came from a place that can only be described as pure love. You came from the same place I did. I know this to be true because I can feel the memory of that place sometimes when I close my eyes, relax my shoulders, let out a long, deep sigh and force myself to smile until it’s real. There is a rapture, a sensation of goodness that starts radiating from my heart and washes over my entire body. You carry that same energy within you too, each and every one of us does. I’ve recognized the sacredness of that energy in countless faces and I’ve been humbled by those who have learned how to manifest that goodness, that gratitude, that love into their daily lives on a consistent basis. It’s a struggle for me, life seems to get in the way.

Being placed into the tiny child belly of my mother and than loosing both of my parents followed by my grandmother was how I began to escape the magic of where I came from. I’m sure everyone has their story, their own moments of darkness. As a child, I felt so alone and disconnected from everyone else. Without having a real home to belong to, a tribe to fit into, I felt as if I had been hatched. If no one wanted me, how was I worthy of being here? It’s in the darkest moments of my life that bits of light have snuck in through the cracks. Nature, the god in nature, the natural tendency for people to be kind have provided miracle after miracle when I’ve needed them the most. When the weight of loneliness has been too much to bear, a voice from the bottom of my heart has called to me, whispered just loud enough for me to really hear it, “Hush, go to sleep. You’re not alone. I am here.” In the times I’ve needed it the most, that voice has come through and offered me comfort. I will spend the rest of my life telling myself that I haven’t really escaped the place I came from. I will never stop reaching within myself for who I really am, who I’ve always been. I am here for love, to give it, to receive it. That’s my truth, that’s what I believe the point of all of this living is. To remember where we came from, to live it, to share it, before we ultimately return to it.