This is what came out of my pencil (the tool of my heart)
I've been letting go of some former friends this year. I've never really let go of people before now. I've always been the one to keep calling, keep sending cards, keep hanging on. I feel like in letting go I'm growing up, moving on.
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No thank you, I dont need one sided relationships anymore. I'm not going to be the only one who calls to check in, the only one who writes and the girl who sits there pathetically waiting for signs that you still care. My life is full of surface relationships and a few deeper, more connected friendships. I don't need to hang on to you just because I love you. I don't need to constantly remind you I care. Who said this was my life's duty anyway? No thank you.
I'm giving up, I'm letting you go. I crave the deeper connection we once experienced together, but I recognize that if I hang on to those who can no longer give back, there won't be room for future connections. I pray that by releasing these former soul mates, my own growing soul will have the room to embrace new ones. You have served a purpose in my life and have made an impact, I can only hope I've done the same for you. I will always love you for the person you once were, but I need to be seen now for the person I am today. I am only open to relationships with people who are able and willing to take the time to do that. I'm setting you free with the hopes that by sending you off with love more will return to me. If it doesn't, well I'll be okay anyway.
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Im sure you will have a lot of people respond to this post, even if only in a mental way of YES....i know what you are saying.
ReplyDeletewe have all been there, and we are all there, either suffering silently waiting for the phone to ring, or at the other end, not meaning to take for granted, but somehow doing so anyway.
lovely thoughts.growing up is such hard work. :)
Funny, this is exactly what I have been thinking about for the last couple of days. Letting go of these relationships that are one sided. It's hard though, I do still love them, but I don't believe the love is returned. I have one in particular, and my whole friend says to let her go ... but letting go completely is so hard.
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ReplyDeleteLetting go is one of the hardest things to do. You're so wise and brave to have taken the step, good for you!
ReplyDeletesometimes i think we share the same brain. i totally understand what your ggoing thru at leeast what i understand out of this post you wrote. i feel i keep hanging onto people that dont care. you are an amazing woman and will get thru whatever comes your way. i hope you find peace with all this.
ReplyDeleteDear Sarah:
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining creative forces here. So many thoughts to share, including thanks for reading my soul and encouraging my own writing. My Dad once scolded me for being selfish, not sharing my writing more readily with the world. Which is about the only thing he ever scolded me for. This is a good bridge, from a million dusty journals, towards a published book!
Yes, in resonance with the new vibrational shift, pouring through friendship's territory, lately.
Years ago a psychic said I would clear out old friends, and attract new ones. He didn't say it would go on indefinitely. Now I embrace the shifts, knowing they clear space for upgrades!
I lost three major friendships, in the recent 3 or so years, and gained one lost one back! The theme of those losses was mostly energetic. I kept growing more open and loving within, and within relating. They seemed to only be growing denser with rage and fear. I suppose when I would not play projection acceptance with them, it was no fun, anymore, and they all kind of naturally repelled far away from me. I grieved the 1st hard, and the second, less so, and the third, lost its glue after 24 years.
Beautiful to know your soul and your path. Looking forward to sharing insights smiles and laughter.
I listened to Author Dolores Cannon speak about the 3 new waves of Aliens coming to earth as "Volunteers," bringing our pure hearts and healing awareness. I must say you sound like one of us. I appreciate your legacy of creating new levels of joy, in the face of earthly travails! When I look at negative influences in my past, I focus on my chosen legacy!
Glad to know you & see that you are creating your dreams in this present lifetime!
Truly, Jen
the dalai lama talks about this often. it an important step in growing. good for you for recognizing so young. found you through the SPC flickr group and was curious to know more. ill be back. thanks for the amazing inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think we live somewhat parallel lives! I had a great friend years ago that I went through the same thing with. It's still hard not having her around anymore, but I couldn't be the only one truly in the relationship. I still love her to this day and have written a few poems about her. I completely relate to this entry.
ReplyDeleteWow. Just thinking of Squam, then Jenica, then you and wondering if you are attending Squam this year? Really no matter as my soul is crying out to get my art on and make some new art friends in the same need of crying out, doing art and opening up their soul to the possibilities. RAW night in the South Sound?
ReplyDeleteRaw night would be perfect.
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